Ducky: Did you hear that?
Me: Yes, Ducky. Poop.
Ducky: I think it was a mountain lion.
Me: It wasn’t. Poop.
Ducky: Could have been a mountain lion.
Me: That seems unlikely in an apartment complex in Florida, a state with no mountains. Poop.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Florida panther?
Me: No. Just another dog…oh, crap!
Ducky: ANOTHER DOGGIE?!?! WHERE?! WHERE?!
Me: Arrrgh! Way over there.
Ducky: THEN WE BETTER GET GOING!!!!
Me: No, Ducky. Poop.
Ducky: There’s time for pooping later, man! There’s a doggie over there!
Me: Yes, a doggie whose person is also trying to get her to poop. Perhaps before she has to go to work. Just like me.
Ducky: Two hers? Come on! It could be win-win!
Me: Still just separated, Ducky.
Ducky: Fine! Then do it for me!
Me: You’re been neutered anyway
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: We agreed to never…
Me: I know. I’m sorry.
Ducky: And if either of us is lacking balls at the moment…
Me: Hey!
Ducky: Alright! I’m sorry. But come on, daddy!
Me: Poop.
Ducky: …
Me: Look, if you poop quick enough maybe they’ll still be there and if it looks like they’re done, I promise we’ll try to walk by them for a sniff. At least for you. I probably won’t sniff the lady
Ducky: Promise?
Me: Yes, even though I’m late for work, I promise.
Ducky: Thanks, Dad.
Me: You’re welcome.
Ducky: Oh, and Dad?
Me: Yes, Ducky?
Ducky: If it is a florida panther…
Me: I know. You will bark a lot and keep your distance and I will attack it.
Ducky: Thanks, Dad. I love you.
Me: I love you too, Ducky. Now please poop.
Ag
